Writing Letters

Here's an excerpt from an article on writing letters.


"Traditional letter writing made us take the time to think of what we wanted to say, and how to say it, and what impact it would have on the person receiving it," Ms. Baron said.

In the long run, she said: "We are losing the message. We'll have nothing to look back on, and people are just not realizing this."

Of course, there are letter-writing holdouts. Even though Jill L. Johnson, 48, relies on e-mail messages in her job as a marketing executive for an insurance company in Madison, Wis., she corresponds with certain friends the old-fashioned way.

"You have to put something more into it," Ms. Johnson said. "Putting script to paper connotes something special."

She writes down thoughts, reminiscences or quotes she has read and sends them to her father and other relatives, friends and her four children, including her college-age daughter in Washington. She also jots missives to her fiancé, Joel Chapiewsky, who also lives in Madison, and who "just eats it up that I send him notes," Ms. Johnson said.

While avid letter writers among men are a rarity, Phil Witt, an anchorman and senior reporter at WDAF in Kansas City, Mo., confesses to being among them.

"I spend so much time on the phone at work," he said, "that it is nice to use another method for staying in touch with my friends and family. I learned a long time ago that there is value in thanking people and keeping a connection through a handwritten note."

Like many, Mr. Witt said that his communications are mostly limited to a few paragraphs, and very far from the long letters that his father-in-law wrote to his future wife while he served in World War II.

"I honestly don't know anyone who writes those kinds of letters any more," Mr. Witt said.

A written letter or note, said Maria Everding, an etiquette consultant in St. Louis, Mo., "lasts longer, and you can read it over and over."

"And you can put it in a box," she said, "and get it out and read it again if you are feeling down in the dumps."

At least one person is working to revive the art of letter writing. Inspired by having nothing written — not even a signature — to remember his father after he died, Greg Vaughn, a producer of Christian films who lives in Richardson, Tex., began writing letters to his family in 2002. Then two years ago, Mr. Vaughn, 58, began offering training to help fathers communicate meaningfully with their wives, children and parents.

So far more than 6,000 men have taken his course, called "Letters From Dad," in churches and synagogues around the country. "I don't know that this will put men in the same category as women in expressing their feelings," he said, "but we have to start somewhere."

Recently, Mr. Kowtoniuk, the Harvard graduate student, bought a card for his mother's birthday and added his own handwritten message. But first he typed out what he wanted to say on his computer. Then he spell-checked it, found a pen and wrote his message in ink on the card.

"I was afraid of making a mistake," he explained. His painstaking efforts to get it just right were appreciated. His mother, he said, "was surprised and cried when she opened the card."